Science  Write  Now

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A woke friend in a wide brimmed hat, 

through a fog of incense, below a dream 

catcher, above a mound of tie-dye rugs, 

told me that anger was bad for me, even 

in short bouts, and that I must quell it 

with every bit of might as if it were a spark 

about to take flame on the fur of my cat.


A bit drastic, I thought.


She recommended sea salts and bloodstone 

crystals to clean my spirit, then said: "These

rocks have healing properties. Their stable 

vibrational frequency will penetrate your

energy. It’s science! "


I asked her to explain the science. She told me

Einstein said: "Everything is energy, and 

that’s all there is to it. This is not philosophy. 

This is physics. "


I told her that doesn't explain how crystals work

and there is no substantive evidence that these are

Einstein’s words. Then she said: "You’re too much

in your head."


I asked: "Where else am I supposed to be?" She

told me, "in your heart," then lit up a posy of sage

and said: "Anger is a heady quality. It will scorch

your insides, you’ll end up with ulcers, and before

you know it, you’ll have a meltdown."


Then she added: "Not a single being 

on earth is built for a fiery defense."


I told her: "Well, actually, some species are." 

She said: "Nothing is, unless you believe in

dragons that spit fire."


I asked her not to be so absolute, to which she replied:

"The truth comes from the heart, and the heart is made

of light, and the speed of light is absolute."


"You’re not making any sense," I said.


She doused the sage, then smashed the tray

of smelly sticks and strode off without a second glance,

while mouthing off: "Nothing is built for fire. Nothing is. 

You will burn down! "


The only takeaway here is this: bombardier beetles

shoot fire from their asses, and they do not have

a meltdown.